my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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