we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
