she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
