what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Please, let me fuck your mom
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
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Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
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Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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