Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
