After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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