i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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