Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
