Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
