The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
