so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
