You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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