you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
