Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
