I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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