Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
