alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
