so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
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He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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