take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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