She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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