All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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