went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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