I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
