There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he fucked my hip out of place.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
