I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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