I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think your dad took our porno
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
