Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
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Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
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walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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