no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
