I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
