she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
