dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
