don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
