well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
