Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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