i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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