Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
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The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.