Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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