Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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