I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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