handjob tips. give me some.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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