I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
