walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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