if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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