At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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