My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
