And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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