I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
