Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
