Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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