Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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