Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
