trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
