gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
its liver damage thursday
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
