yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
