she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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