ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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