So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
then he tried to convert me to islam
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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