my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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