Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
