I want to walk on stilts...naked
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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